Follow You
by Oneirogenic
Summary: I will follow you into the dark. Cartman/Kenny


Cartman/Kenny Slash. Came to me after listening to my Deathcab for Cutie CD about four times in a row when the power went out.

Angstfluff. Some OOC, but you can never tell with Cartman :3

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Cartman shifted uneasily, tracing a thick finger over one of the long scars trailing down Kenny's torso, biting into his lip as though he wanted to ask something, but was to afraid to open his mouth. Unlike him, for the most part, but Kenny could only smile, reaching out a hand to run through the boy's brown hair.

"Mmm?" he mumbled softly, his eyelids half-mast and drowsy with the gently stroking hand.

"Where did that..." Cartman stopped himself and just shook his head, pulling Kenny's orange parka back down and settling uncomfortably back into the grass. "Nothing," he said simply, looking back up at the sky, eyes reflecting starlight and unsaid words.

The corner of Kenny's mouth pulled into a disbelieving smirk as he rolled over, facing the brunette, hand still buried deep in the thick hair. "I got that one last month, when I fell off Stan's roof onto his fence. There's a scar on my back where the picket went through."

Cartman cringed quite visibly, though his eyes were still glued to the stars. "Oh," he muttered quietly, voice sounding small and nothing like himself. Kenny could hear him swallow thickly and watched him open his mouth a couple of times, though nothing came out.

"It wasn't as painful as it looked," he lied, smiling a little, remembering the feeling of the picket impaling him and splintering against his organs. He had lost consciousness on the way to the hospital when he felt something rupture and gush out the wound. One of his less dramatic deaths, but it had left a scar that refused to heal. Some of them did that, he'd come back as though nothing had happened, but still have the scar to prove that it was more than just a dream.

The small, uncharacteristic voice beside him sounded again, frightened but laced with curiosity. "Kenny...what's it like to die?"

Kenny was caught off guard, surprised he didn't see this coming. "I..." He started, trying to think of a way to explain it, trying to remember a time he'd described it before, but couldn't clearly remember any time he'd told anyone. "It's...painful a lot of the time."

He almost felt bad saying that, Cartman's eyes glassy and still unwavering from the stars.

"But..." he continued, choosing his words carefully. "It goes away...sometimes really suddenly, and then there's black, and I'll wake up somewhere like nothing's happened. Sometimes it takes longer, depending on what happened. I really don't understand it."

He mulled over it for a brief moment, sighing and staring upwards. "Why the sudden interest anyway? You never cared before. Death's always been so trivial to you, going out of your way to cause it more often than--"

"Shut up." Eric glared at him, eyes wet. "Just...shut up, Kenny."

Kenny looked back over at the boy next to him and furrowed his eyebrows, pulling him back down as he tried to move away from him. Sighing softly he let his hand trail down the round face to brush away the small collection of tears sliding down Eric's cheeks. "Eric...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to--"

Cartman cut him off. "I'm not going to come back like you when..._it_...finally happens. I'm just going to die and there'll be nothing but a fiery pit that...I don't even think would want me." He finally took his eyes away from the stars, and turned to Kenny. "That'll be it. Closing the gate in my face and lighting their No Vacancy sign at the sight of me. I'll have nothing." He squeezed his eyes shut against the tears streaming out of them, though he struggled to keep them in. "Nothing. And that really fucking scares me."

Kenny frowned and slid an arm around him, closing the gap between their bodies, surprisingly unalarmed by the sudden outburst. "You aren't going to be alone, Eric."

"How do you know? You'll just come back every time, now and when I'm gone. You don't have to worry about getting in anywhere. You'll have the white light, and the tunnels and white and fiery gates, and then you'll come back from your vacation to get on with your life," Cartman spat, his face twisting with emotion. "Just like you always do."

Leaning in close, the blonde pressed his lips to a soft but salty cheek. "I don't have to come back every time. And after awhile, I don't think I'll want to. I'm going to get tired one day, like you will, and we just won't wake up one day." Kenny wished he hadn't sounded so grim, the quiet sobs coming from the other boy making him feel guilty.

"I don't want it to just end."

Kenny ran a hand through his hair, still hugging him close. "It's not as bad as it sounds."

"I don't want to be alone."

"You won't be. Whatever happens to you, I'll be close behind and go wherever you go." He slid his hand into Eric's, squeezing it tightly. "You won't be alone."

Eric leaned in close, hand traveling back up the orange parka to stroke the scar again. "Do you promise?"

"Promise what?"

"To follow me. Even if there's nothing."

Kenny smiled, letting his lips brush against Eric's. "Wherever you end up, I'll be there." He tugged on his hair gently, pressing his forehead against his. "Even if there's nothing."


End file.
